Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
