So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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