Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
