just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
