Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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