absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
