so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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