I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
