i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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