Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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