Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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