we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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