Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
