My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
