You really coming over, don't trick.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
