I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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