How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
