Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
