i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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