U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
