the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
where does the pee come out of this thing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize