i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
