quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
