Small penises have feelings too.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i now understand why vodka
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
