yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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