he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
