I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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