thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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