I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
