is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
