I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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