I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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