yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
