Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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