Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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