Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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