fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
