don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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