when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
