who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
