I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Where is the hickey?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize