Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
All the doctor said was why
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