If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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