I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
