I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
