How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
