Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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