I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
