Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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