im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
