the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
