I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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