Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
