I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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