and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
