I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
