eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize