my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
