im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
