I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
