somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
