You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
