NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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