Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
