pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is the high leading the old right now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
