its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
