So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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