Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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