is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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