if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
