My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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