I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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