i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
