I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
