thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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