yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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